Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Randomize
