Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
