Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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