I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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