Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She told me I should be a condom model.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
