So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize