would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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