We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The best revenge is premature balding
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
