How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
