I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
