Don't you send me to vm
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
