he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
