I wanna bring you to show and tell
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
