I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
