matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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