He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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