So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We need to get me chipped asap
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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