ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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