a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
