if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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