We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
