I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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