He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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