Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I want her autograph on my taint
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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