Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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