I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
