dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
