He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
