Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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