I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
