ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
