I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
