Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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