Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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