Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I am one with the molecules
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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