Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
