you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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