Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize