He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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