id be glad to
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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