Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
