Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
