I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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