You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
