oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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