; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
We're like a lot better than the average bears
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
