I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
