I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
