Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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