According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
