Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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