So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm getting married
To pizza
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
