dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
