I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Randomize
