hotel room ftw
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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