i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
