I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Randomize
