This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just want nice things and good sex
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
