well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just googled if crying burns calories
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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