One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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