Tell her she can't have a vagina
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
